


Sunny Day

by byebyebluejay



Series: Little Moments [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Depression, Fluffy, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 06:36:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7790683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byebyebluejay/pseuds/byebyebluejay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard has been hiding his depression from Severin. It's not until Severin gets out of work early one day that he realizes something is wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sunny Day

Severin blinked up at the sky as he exited the tube station and walked into the unseasonably bright sun. It was November and nippy, but only a few clouds sat high in the sky. It was a rare nice day, and with work over early, it seemed a shame not to enjoy it. Maybe Richard would want to visit the park. It had been a long time since they had gone to have a picnic, or even just to grab a coffee and feed the ducks. He walked the rest of the way to the flat with a spring building in the balls of his feet, whistling as he went and squinting through the sunshine. 

The moment he opened the door, though, Severin sensed a subtle wrongness. The house was too quiet. Too still. The bowls of oatmeal he and Richard had eaten for breakfast were untouched on the kitchen table, as was Richard’s script, sitting beside his empty bowl. His shoes sat by the door, right where they had been when Severin left for work that morning. Considering the dangers of his line of work, Severin couldn’t help but feel a sharp spike of unease.

“Richard?” No response. 

Frowning, Severin moved down the hall, casting a glance at the empty bathroom before popping open the bedroom door. A small ball, wrapped up in sheets, jolted into an upright position, dark hair mussed, back hunched. Severin exhaled. Thank God. Richard lifted a hand to mop at his face. Severin seated himself on the edge of the bed, behind him. 

“Hey, Richie. Sorry to disturb you. Are you feeling alright?” Richard shrugged—a tiny, jerky movement, “Richie?” Severin could hear Richard take a deep breath in.

“I’m fine. Sleepy.” There was a raspy edge to Richie’s voice that he didn’t like at all.

“Richard,” Severin reached out to rub between Richard’s shoulder blades, and like touching a soap bubble, Richard crumpled. He slumped onto his side again, sheet tangled around his legs. Severin’s eyes went wide.

“What’s the matter? What happened?” His thoughts flew to their brothers. Severin had seen Sebastian less than an hour ago, and neither he nor Jim had texted him anything to suggest trouble, but Richard could know something he didn’t. Or he could have heard bad news about his mother’s health. Or maybe something bad had happened to one of his friends. Or—

Severin clambered over to the other side of the bed to peer into Richard’s face. He got a glimpse of pink eyes, a pink nose, pink blotches on pale cheeks, and then Richard tugged a pillow over his head. 

“It’s nothing!” Richard’s voice was quavering but audible through the pillow, “I’m sorry. It’s so stupid. It’s nothing. Please go.” The sheets rose and fell in a great, heaving breath, and Severin felt something crack inside of him. There was not a chance he could leave Richard like this, crying on the bed alone. But he didn’t want to push him. He was too easy to push far beyond his comfort zone. Severin sat in silence for a moment, eyes fixed on the body shuddering below the blanket, as he searched for something between leaving and just bundling Richard up on his lap to do. 

“Can I just sit here with you? Is that okay? I won’t talk.” There was a long pause, and then finally, Richard nodded. Severin readjusted himself, settling on the edge of the bed by Richard’s knees. The sun fell through the blinds in thick bars. Light and shadow laid in a neat, alternating pattern. He watched that instead of Richard, trying to give his boyfriend some sense of privacy, though he doubted Richard could see through the sheets, and privacy seemed a bit incompatible with companionship anyway. He could hear Richard’s shuddery breaths and feel his silent sobs through the mattress, and he wanted nothing more than to make them stop. 

Severin got lost in a dark sort of daydream. Beating up imagined offenders, funding heroic medical interventions, talking to Jim. He was pulled back to reality again when he realized the bed had stopped shaking, and Richard’s breaths had gone quieter. He glanced over as Richard pulled the sheet off his head. His cheeks and nose were wet, his mouth open slightly, dark hair sticking to his brow. Chest aching, Severin reached out a hand to stroke Richard’s damp cheek. Richard sniffed, but didn’t move away. 

“Hey, Bunny. What happened?” 

“Nothing. Really. Nothing. I—I wasn’t expecting you home so early.” Richie’s voice was choked and halting. He sat up, shoulders slumped. Severin wrapped an arm around his waist, snug and warm, and Richard exhaled another shuddery sigh. 

“I won’t do anything if you don’t want me to. I won’t chase anyone down, or anything. If you don’t want me to.”

“There’s nobody to chase down. It really is nothing. I’m just sad. For no reason. I don’t know what’s the matter with me.” Richard’s voice broke again, and Severin couldn’t help but haul the smaller man into his lap and squeeze him tight, burying his nose in Richard’s hair and kissing the crown of his head. 

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re perfect. I love you, Bunny.” But Richard only shook his head, and pressed his face into the crook of Severin’s neck. 

“No, but there is! I thought things would get better when I moved in with you… Things did get better when I moved in with you. But only a little bit. Jimmy knows. I’ve been like this since secondary school. I have really bad days,” Severin’s fingers traced paths up and down Richard’s back, unsure what to say as he felt fresh tears splashing onto his skin, “I’m sorry. I never meant for you to see me like this. I feel so pathetic.” So it wasn’t just today, then. It was many days. How many days had Richard been upset that he’d put on a happy face just before Severin was due home?

“I wish you had told me sooner, Richie. I want to help. You deserve help.” 

“I don’t want to see a therapist. Jimmy says it’s dangerous for me to talk to someone about my life, if they’re going to record it all. And I can’t open up to strangers, anyway,” He choked, and nuzzled further into Severin’s shirt, as though he were trying to hide himself completely, “I can hardly even open up to you.”

“What about medication?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Later we can. When I’m not so… Can we just…?” Richard slid his fingers into the gaps between Severin’s, and Severin bit his tongue. He wasn’t going to give up so easily. If Richard was so unhappy, he wouldn’t be able to sleep right until at least he knew some effort was being made to help. But for now, if Richie wanted peace and quiet, Severin would give it to him. They sat there in silence, Richard’s breathing going even again, the tears drying. Severin felt the puffs of warm breath against his throat, and the rhythm of their hearts; slowing, falling into sync. Calm. The slats of sunlight were crawling up the side of the bed, now. By Severin’s reckoning, it wouldn’t be long until sunset. 

“Do you want to go on a little walk? It’s really nice out.” Richard sighed and straightened, looking up at Severin with puffy eyes. 

“I look pretty terrible, don’t I?” 

“You always look cute, Bunny,” Severin countered with a little smile, kissing the tip of Richard’s nose, “Just for a bit?” A slow, shy smile pulled at Richard’s lips and he laughed. The sound was still a broken one, but Severin’s smile widened, encouraging.

“People will notice.”

“We don’t have to go. I just thought it might be fun.”

“Okay,” He said at last, wrapping his arms around Severin’s shoulders, “We can go.” 

“Good,” Giving Richard a quick kiss on the lips, Severin scooped him up in his arms, “You should put a coat on, though. It’s a bit cold.”

“Maybe the ducks will be around.”

“That’s what I was thinking too.”


End file.
